Somewhat Shot Myself in the Foot...

So this blog is great... and it is for the most part anonymous... the trouble is, I have told a select few friends I trust about it... now I like this, I know people read it... and it has helped me keep this going... and I get encouragement (especially from GeeGee) to keep posting when it's been a while...

The trouble now is what to do if I find myself in a situation where I want to talk about someone who know's that this is me... Obviously the whole point of this being anonymous was so that I could talk about my feelings freely or about people I know, without the worry that it will come back to me... or feeling I have to sensor myself out of embarrassment... and this is part of what makes the blog good (IMO)...

So now I am left in a bit of a pickle with a few options... I could simply not write it... not this is least favourable if I'm honest... the whole point of this is to give a way for me to get things off my chest... and I definitely feel that this blog has helped my piece of mind... my second option is to just talk about it regardless... now this I could either do cryptically so as to fool the person (which I can't really see happening) or I could just outright say it... but that just isn't going to happen... Now my third option is to just write it and dump it somewhere on the net with no ties to this or me... but I feel that this somewhat defeats the purpose of what this blog was, and the rest of the regulars won't get to see it...


So I'm a little stumped... for once if you ask me extra in person, I'm not going to divulge (or am I ;P maybe to the right people haha) but feel free to offer up on what you think I should do... what would be best for me... not just saying post it blates so I can find out :P

Till next time, Big love xxx

QOTD

Something wrong with me, I'm not getting along with me, my eyes pasted on the ceiling, I can't get my mind to stop working...

Spoiler Alert: Emotions...

So seeing as my last update for a while before these few left us with a somewhat unresolved situation I feel I should give a quick update on the subject...

As for talking... there was a fair dip in activity... but then again I'd tend to be the one instigating it... and I was somewhat afraid to... I guess I'm so afraid of causing conflict that I got to detrimental lengths to avoid it... something I should work on and speak of another time...

She went on holiday, I guess this gave things time to cool off... or at least the niggles in my mind... so now she's back, I've been talking to her if and when on facebook chat... still avoiding the wall to wall situation... just using things that aren't apparent to people who aren't me or her... now I know that sounds sneaky... but I'm running off the ignorance is bliss theory.

Something a good friend (JC) said to me the other night stuck though... I can't remember word for word (we were heavily intoxicated) but essentially he reminded me how much I really want to speak to her... for no other reason than loving the company of someone so alike me...

Now there is something perhaps to get off my chest here... my feelings... I don't actively fancy her... she's a little young (still legal mind) and she has a boyfriend... but right now, if she asked, I'd drop everything and come running... I still have an amount of feelings for her... namely that I could see us being good together... but what's the chance of that eh? :P

Cheers for tuning in xxx

A Fickle Society...

So I've noticed quite recently that people are fickle... and bonds seeming strong can be a lot thinner than originally thought... or in fact can be there only for show, hiding other deeper bonds... cryptic shit right? :P

Well I just wonder why... why would you intentionally do something that will hurt someone you call a friend... or why would you call a friend someone you want to intentionally hurt... I know there's the whole premise about keep thy friends close, and thy enemies closer.... but surely that only applies to dictators in a position where the thought of an assassination is an everyday one... and not groups of 20 or so friends still in their teens... or is that just me being naive (such an ugly word for one as beautiful as me no?) - well I have to fit the humour in amongst the depression somewhere right? :P

I miss a simpler time, one where you knew who your friends were, because your friends were there for you... but I guess that time is gone... now it seems friends cheat, like, backs-tab and even punch you in the face... and yes those aren't metaphors, I speak of a real world dilemma...

and to bring this into the real world... what started as just one bitch-ish comment by me (yes hypocritical.... but if that surprised you then you too are naive) lead to a rare opportunity... I find my self in a strange position where I can find the honest telling of both sides of a story... but I don't know if I should... I fear that if I do, I'll either be seen to backs-tab the side that I currently reside in, not through having a personal stake in, but through staying with the majority, and allowing my conclusion to be drawn from seeing one side of the story and deeming it reasonable and this lead me to be thinking... massive propaganda in the war worked just like this... and surely the "baddies" saw the selves as "goodies" dues to such reasoning based on the bias of propaganda by which the are dubbed "baddies" and because history is written by the victor how do we know for ourselves what is, and what is not, without putting proper consideration to our decisions upon viewing a shape from all angles... or (yes jumping right back in) I will be doing it while having no compassion what so ever for the moment, and so being incredibly cold and pretending to be a friend where I am not... just to find out more...

Now if you managed to follow that all the way down to here... what should I do? All advice welcome...

Thanks, and Big Love till next time xxx

Linky fo' Linky...

So I said I would return the favour next time I posted and here it is Ei8htyEi8ht...

Basically the mutual agreement of some free publicity will do us both good... he linked to me, so go checkout my friends blog (http://ei8htyei8ht2010.blogspot.com) he's doing a poker challenge over this year turning $100 into $100,000 ... some impressive stuff... and if you follow him properly, you could get your hands on upto 10% of that winnings come the end of the year, I know I will be.

Until next time, Big love xxx

Way too long...

So it's been ages since my last post... and there are various reasons for this... one of which being yet another re-installation of my laptop... though hopefully the last for some time as I am now on 64-bit Windows 7 :) ... anyways, geeking aside, life's been hectic, I've spent little time at home, and what I have, has been mostly sleeping... So I haven't really had the time

I've had a fair few things to rant about from time to time, but never when a laptop was available to get them out of my system, so hopefully a fair few will come out over tonight and tomorrow... as they say in the biz, watch this space...