QOTD

Always borrow money from a pessimist, he wont expect it back...

Kind of afraid to ask...

over the past year this has happened to me several times... friends, to not friends, to friends again... and each time... there is still a part of me that doesn't understand... I know this is classic signs of autism... being unable to fully see things from the perspective of another in a social situation, but I digress...

The thing is... there's a small amount of me that it plagues... really bugs me that I don't fully know why... but I'm always to afraid to mention it... there's always this thing in my mind thinking that if I mention a past conflict then it might re-kindle the feelings and make it a conflict of the present or future... make sense?

thoughts?

Big love 'n' all xxx

It's been 6 months...

So I'm sure I explained this one way way back... but one of the reasons I started this blog was... well simply put recovering from a girl who wasn't quite...

It's about 6 months down the road now, and I'd hear nothing... any attempts at contact I made early one were seemingly ignored, and I never heard from her again

That is until now... today she redid her facebook, and added me to the new account... I was taken aback, and in some way my heart sunk to remember... I'd moved on as far as I'd thought... against my better judgement, and regretting it while I did it... I decided to write a simple "Hey, cheers for the ad, how are ya? x" fully expecting to be ignored, deleted, and then feel shite about it all for a short while... but no... it followed a fast 6comment (so far) conversation, just like in the old days, things going well, and being as if nothing had gone 'wrong'.

Now does this mean I'm back where I was 6 months ago... not that I would mind that, but I don't want a repeat of last time... as in the way things fucked up... even though I am pretty sure what happened (this topic will spill into another post)... but I'm sure there's still a flame there that could be easily re-kindled... though I'm kinda apprehensive bout that :/

Don't honestly know where I'm going with this one, this is kinda mental vomit, just getting the thoughts out here in an attempt to clear up in my mind... and hopefully you guys will be kept in the loop atleast

And I have no reason to avoid names... but I have for now... if you want refreshing, just ask... this one I will go into more detail about hapily

Big love to you all... especially you ;) xxx

Flirting isn't a relationship...

So I've already discussed this one with one of the audience/nation/followers... so sorry to you for the repeat... but hey, I wanna get this one out there and off my chest.

Confession: I'm a flirt... people who know me know that, and I openly admit it... but the trouble is, there's this girl who's become... well the only way I can describe it is as the bad part of my ex.

The other day I came back from holiday, came over said hi, and gave her a hug (standard greeting) and I'm met with a dirty look and "you never replied to my text" (which was a generic "who's out tonight" about a week before)... later that night in the club I said hi again only to be told I never pay her any attention... well is it any wonder when every time I do it is met with negativity... it's like she's become possessive of me, despite the fact that we aren't going out... now I have't miss-led her, I've openly told her on numerous occasions that I flirt with everyone, and before this all started happening I would flirt and more with others in her presence... now to clarify, we have made out, several times, but it was just that, because it was agreed that it's an enjoyable experience.

So I'm not entirely sure what to draw from this... does she like me? is it just that time of teh month (sorry if that offends) ? But as one view it was shown to me, maybe she likes to think she's special, despite what's said and gone... who know's... maybe I should just ask her wtf... opinions?

tyvm xxx

Could you?

A Tiny post here, and for once, fuck off no... I'm not going to tell the back story...

But could you date someone who was 3months pregnant with someone else's kid... baring in mind that they seem great in every other way

Please hit me back, big love to all, but bigger to those that do xxx

What happens next, you decide...

So for once I am afraid of being judged on here... I have started something, I don't know if it is more as an experiment, or due to genuine desire and desperation... but certainly motivated by being stuck in bed with the internet for company...

But it's not something I'm hugely proud of it... certainly not something I would publicise or talk about in my personal life let alone publicly... but should I talk it through for the blog... if only as a documentation of progress if any... or to give it a motivation to continue... and as ever, the main amount of people who will read this, know me, and comfortable with them as I am, I don't know if I want them knowing this...

But here's where you decide... should I post it and risk alienating myself a degree... posts on blog / fanpage only will count simply telling me in person doesn't so gonna give it a little while and then see what popular demand is

Peace off xxx

A Generation Gap Is A Lot...

It's weird... I know my parents are old, and considerably older than me, but I'd never seen the generation gap as a big thing until more recently...

Quite lately it seems like they're from a whole new world... or at least this one only with attitudes of several hundred years ago... it's baffling sometimes

I'd always considered my Dad as technology capable, did a fair job setting up computer at home, worked predominantly in IT and seemed at the least competent... but some of the things he was coming out with today were astonishing. Imagining services on the internet that he wants, that simply don't exist, and asking me to slow down and explain what I was doing when going over a few simple button clicks of stuff I was doing for the first time myself. Also the level of fear he seemed to have for changing things, or having a million layers of encryption for a password with letters, numbers, characters ect, or his worries of having his pictures of landmarks on a recent holiday visible to only people he chooses...

Another thing that I have only really noticed since I broke free of my shackles about 2 years ago is how "white bread" they are... their attitudes to sex and relationships seem like a Nazi regime compared with what some of my friends get... now you may think I'm exaggerating, but let me give you a few examples... If I want a female friend to stay over, I get the reaction "Well you'd better be in separate beds" I stress, this was just a friend, nothing more... and quite frankly if I wanted to share a bed with a female friend, so what? it's just nice having some goddamn company... heaven forbid there should be some actual romantic interest involved, I don't know what they'd do... They tried to have "the talk" with me at 15 (I believe) about how if I did want to have sex (said in the voice one might have used to describe the black death at the time) then they hoped I could sit down and talk it through with them first... as If they think that they are actually approachable... as if every issue I've talked about with them before has gone so smoothly (and yes that is sarcasm)

Now I know this is a very cliche thing to say, but I really do mean it... I really don't think my parents understand me... they are just from a different time... now I'm old enough to voice my own opinion me and my Dad constantly lock horns, anf my Mum just doesn't get it... now don't get me wrong, I love my family... and will have severe words with anyone who speaks bad of them... but this just needs to be said...

Am I the only one who thinks this... or does anyone else agree?

xxx