Today's Life Update

Last night I was about an hour late to bed. Sorry about that.

On the plus side though I woke with a jump this morning, and did twice my normal workout, and took about half as long to get up and going.

Despite the fact that I'll probably be even later to bed tonight. This is most definitely progress. I'm still aiming for the 7am wakeup with workouts. Should be fine, and being tired (if I am) will help me kick back into 11pm sleep the next night.

Everything is good.
Until next time, live easy, and take care of yourself xxx

Cold, Yet Warm at Heart...

It's funny how the smallest thing can change your mood. The words of a friend so simple but could make all the difference between a good day and a bad day. So today I say this: It's cold outside, so be warm inside, if you care about someone, tell them, you never know, it might just make their day. It certainly did mine.

QOTD

"When the spirits are low, when the day apperars dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking." - Arthur Conan Doyle

Last night went well...

I went to sleep stupidly early... but I guess not an unreasonable time all things considered. Sadly my alarm never went off in the morning. But I know I was awake before the sun came up (7:30 - 8:00) and was fully up once it started... so no later than 8:00am really.

I even managed to have a small workout without leaving the warmth of my duvet. Sit-ups and Press-ups. For now I am doing small number of reps (30 and 15 respectively. However I'm going to try and do these every day, and step it up on a weekly basis. The pan is +10 sit-ups/week and +5 press-ups/week with a new week starting on Sunday am.

It's a start, and best of all, it's a good one. I can slowly step things up. Then have the added bonus of House Plant and Kinect at Christmas.

Hopefully I shall be updating with more good news soon.

Until then, look after yourself. Big Love xxx

So I reached under my left eye-lid and gave it a good press...

The past 36hours have been a reboot for me.

I decided to stay up and not sleep last night, power-on with some much over-due work, and generally be productive. For the most it has seemed to work well. The reduction in weight of work on my shoulders feels nice. To be perfectly honest right now I feel great. Happy (if a little tired), but upbeat, optimistic, and positive. I'm just hoping it lasts.

As of 7am tomorrow the regime will kick in again with 11-7 sleep, and being productive while awake. I need a nice simple workout to ease me in, and as I still don't own connect, I'm just going to have to improvise this one. Fingers crossed that it works well... but regardless... it will happen... I feel determined now... and hopefully after an early night an a long sleep I will in the morning.

Diet will have to take a back seat... I simply can't afford it, and as for oxygen, well a house plant is on my Christmas list.

One gadget I wouldn't mind is a "tea's made". An old gadget so it appears that I'd never hear of until just the other day. An alarm clock that makes a cuppa. I would have to get up to get it, drink it, and then have a caffeine boost :) Sadly they all seem to be broken, old, or expensive. I don't see why such a thing would go out of common use.

More realistically I'm probably going to try some sleeping pills I've had recommended to me by a friend. I know I've dabbled in the thought of this for some time now... but I think having a recommendation makes it more likely that I will got for that, otherwise I would be basing my system on guess work.

Next update coming v. soon xxx

Things haven't been going well

I failed epically regarding my last update... And as you can tell by the time of this post... I continue to do so.

A lot of stuff has been playing on my mind. A lot of things troubling me. It feels like I am somewhat spiraling out of controll.

My plan is to tackle things head on this weekend. Friday night I plan to reset my bodyclock by not sleeping. Then going to bed early and rising early Sunday morn. This way I should be able to get back to the sleep pattern. I will also try (tho still lacking Kinect) to get in a morning workout. Work will be another issue to tackle... I have many hours of notes to go through and things to deal with. Then starting next week going to up attendance to 100% (fingers crossed) and do my darndest to stick to all this.

Something that has been missing from my life is cycling. Besides riding to lectures and back, I haven't done any proper riding in about 6weeks. It's stupid, and the cold really isn't helping. Much as I'd like to phase this back in it doesn't seem too likely. Might just try and up the effort I put into the morning ride.

Well until next time...

Life has no reset button...

It's been about a week since I gave up on the world, but yesterday things starter to feel good again. I'm not going to name-and-fame who were involved, but some friends really cheered me up.

I've decided to try and get back on track with things. First things first I need to sort out my sleeping pattern. So I'm going to get back to 11-7. Without exception. When I get up I want to be doing something active. I would love to start my day with a shower, but then if I'm active afterward (like a workout) I'd require another shower, so I don't really want to get into this routine.

I'm really wanting Kinect for the Xbox360. I've played it a few times with a friend, and even the basic game that comes with it is a really good workout. It would get me up and down in the morning, and genuinely be really good fun. Then I could phase-in genuine workouts... Hopefully I can find a spare £120. So seeing as that isn't too likely, any ideas about what I could do instead?

Well I'm going to get on with things for a while. Will post later with updates plans and ideas. till then... Big love xxx

"Life"

So there's no way I can window dress this to make it any less shit.

On Tuesday night my aunt died.

It was untimely, and unjust. If I were any sort of believer I would be having a crisis of faith right now. But I'm not. So I'm just having a crisis.

My sleeping plan has gone to shit. I can barely get to sleep, wake up repeatedly during the night, and when I do wake for the final time, I wish I hadn't. I feel so exhausted that I just lay there in a semi-concious state until I have to get up.

I really don't know what to do with myself. Or do about this. I know I haven't been hit as hard as the others in my family. But this is the first family death I've been through in my lifetime. It's not something anyone should ever have to get used to.

I don't know to what extent I will be continuing with my project of self betterment. While I want to I just don't see the point, or have any drive to bother. I'm quite happy - though I use the term losely - to sit and just be.

Oh Irony...

So I got this email about how I could attend classes to help people who keep on procrastinating... The trouble is I just keep on putting off joining lol.

Time to think...

It's funny how fleeting and fragile time is... How many years can become 6months in the space of a week... And how overnight 6months can become a few days... Really makes you think... I guess the por la mañana attitude can really destroy something precious...

Humanity was doomed from the start...

You know those days when absolutely nothing seems to go right... Nothing per say has gone wrong... But certainly not right... You end up feeling like you may as well give up on the world...

Well it seems like one of those days...

I should have known really when my alarm on my old phone decided to go off at 3am for no real reason... Should have just taken it as a sign and written the whole day off and stayed in bed... Bt then I'm sure my dreams would have been less than kind... The one I did have simply reminded me of everything I didn't have...

but then again I never have been one for believing in signs and such bull... And dreams are merely a meaningless extension of the subconcious in which it gets to play around with a mixture of unconnected thoughts.

And that tangentally leads me onto my next point... One that played in my mind a little while back... And sorry... But essentially this is why there is no god.

If there was a god... Then he wanted us to fail... Therefore not all loving... Therefore no god.

god created man in his image... Therefore either god was flawed... Therefore not perfect... Therefore no god.

Humans were given free will... But an all knowing god would still no what they would choose... If this is true then he would know man would fail the test in the garden of eden... And so either set us up to fail (not all caring)... Or didn't know the outcome of free will (not all knowing)... Either way, no god.

Now I know this is heavily antisymetic... And possibly offensive... But I just can't believe in a system which by it's own definition is flawed so badly.

I guess it takes a day like this to see it all clearly... The clarity in the gloominess...

Meh... That's all I got... Feel abit better now... Take care xxx

Just a little mobile update

So it's been about a week and a half since my last update... And i feel that is a little too much tbh... I know I never meant to keep up with the daily updates... But weekly would have been good.

That said I have been tweeting QOTD (Quote of the Day) and BBTL (Burned by the Lyrics) which you can either see by following me (@quotesandrants) or on the facebook page (see top left).

As the title suggests I am posting this from my phone... Trying a new blogging app out... Which if it works nicely will mean I can blog on the go with ease and so more frequently.

So here's the update... Sleep is good... I've been properly in bed by half 11 all nights I haven't been partying... And then getting up at 7 every morning... I feel like I have more energy in the mornings now and I definately feel better for it.

Sadly I haven't introduced the workouts into my morning routine yet... While I have had MORE energy... Its not quite enough to be active... The one thing that seems to make me wake up is a shower... Notl exactly the best pre-workout activity.

I still need to look into getting myself a plant for my room... Will have to see if theres something cheap, easy and photosynthesis heavy.

The clocks have gone back... This means outside is lighter earlier... And getting up will hopefully be a little easier due to this.

Well thats all for now folks... New update soon I'm sure... Big love xxx