So last night was... Erm... Different?
I'll admit I was a fool, and not just for the content of the last post. Last night I washed down an oversized dose of sleeping pills with half a bottle of spirit. That was dumb. I'm not proud of it. But I'm not certain I regret it. The state I was in I just needed to shut my brain down, and quiet the voices in my head. I'm not saying that's a good way to do it, I wish I knew a better one, but it does work.
I slept well last night, it was nice to have my first dream in a long time, and feel pretty good today. I'm not saying my brain isn't full of worry about things, but it's prepared to accept reason as a strong possibility, and really, for me that's bloody good.
I'm going to try and work on a system for those nights, one that doesn't involve drugs of any kind. As soon as I can wear a helmet again I'll give night rides a go. Strap a light on and go blitz a circuit of the nearest wood, it's one drug for me unlike any other. But then this isn't perfect, because it will significantly reduce my sleep hours... I'll try keep you posted x
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