Maybe I'm alone in this, but when I don't know, my brain tends to come up with 1001 worst-case scenarios, without giving the logical more realistic options a look-in.
While I hate to admit it, alot of these posts are mainly about a girl, so please call me a broken record and close the tab where appropriate.
It seem there are up days and down days. The ups are like crack to me, I can't get enough, I feel great when I'm on them. But the downs are killing me. It's stupid to take a non-reply and read something into it. But I have no idea why it happens. I think I've offended her. I think she's gone off me, or that the texting is bugging her. It's not until 10hours later trying to calm my mind down when I try to tell myself more logical explanations like busy or dead battery, and even now when I'm being "rational" my brain rejects these without a second thought.
Yes, this is pathetic, but this is what GAD does to me. At times I really can't take it. I've been noticing a correlation, a trend if you will. It seems the amount I am effected by this, relates directly to how emotionally attached I am to someone. When it first became enough of an issue for me to do anything about it, I was in love. I ended up having sessions with a psychiatrist. When it played up last year, I was seeing someone. Now, I can feel it's effects taking hold on my brain, on my thoughts, on my actions... and I'm falling for someone. Makes me wonder at times if my brain is simply not programmed for love (not that I'm saying this is love)... and I choose the word programmed carefully, it seems to work in logic, and logic alone. Emotions just mess with the system (now I sound like a psychopath).
I've run out of steam on this chain of thought, So I'll sign off now, more soon I'm sure x
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